Roller Coaster Week

What a week this has been!! August has always been an extremely important month to me, but all the emotions that usually occur in that whole MONTH, hit me in one week. This year began my 22nd year as a teacher. I absolutely love my job. I taught in the NC school district for 19 years, and then God led me to Central. I'm so thankful He did. I can see, almost daily, why He put me there. I'm surrounded by the most Godly staff I've ever taught with. They circled me with love when Mal left us. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. I need to back up and start at the beginning of the week.

Mal's best friend, Blair, is going away to college this year. Because she and several other kids had to leave for school early, Blair planned the balloon launch to honor Mal's birthday on Sunday, the 15th (Mal's birthday is the 17th). We did the balloon launch last year. But, I was still a little out of it, so the memories aren't as sharp. I do remember pulling up to the cemetary, thinking there was a funeral. But, all the cars were there for Mal's balloon launch. This year, there were probably just as many people there. The emotions hit me pretty hard. But, this time, it wasn't so much about missing Mal, but just more shock that this many people still felt strongly about honoring Mal. It was beautiful. I tried to build the kids up and give them some of my jewels of wisdom. Mal would LOVE the attention!

On Monday, I had to go back to work. It was a day filled with meetings, but it was so good to be back with my co-workers. I had my cheerleaders come in decorate the school for Open House that night. Getting back to work is always good for me. During the summer, I have too much time to let my mind wander, which can lead me back into depression, missing Mal. Going back to school fills my mind with so much, the depression doesn't get a chance to creep back in. Teaching middle school kids keeps me hopping, mentally and physically!! And my cheerleaders never let me get down. The picture below gives you an idea about the staff at CMS. This was taken during Spirit Week on "rocker day". We have a really good time, no matter what we do!!



Then, begins Tuesday, Mal's 20th birthday. I can still remember the August I was pregnant with her like it was yesterday!! Elvis' death was sometime in this month, so while awaiting her arrival, I watched Elvis movie marathons!!! She had so many birthday wishes on Facebook from all the people who love her. I did ok that day! I wore my t shirt with her pic on it. I don't usually wear it in public much, because I don't want to appear too "creepy"!! But I felt I should honor her that day. Our school district began the morning with a prayer service at the high school's flagpole. It was definitely what I needed that morning. I had to attend a coach's meeting that afternoon. One of Mal's favorite volleyball coaches moved to Central this year and I sat with her at the meeting. She shared several stories about Mal's sweet and respectful personality. It made me very proud!! (Do you get the roller coaster of emotions yet??) I ended the afternoon by going to Boen's to order football shirts for Mom and me to wear to Luke's games this season.



Wednesday was pretty uneventful. I spent most of the afternoon in my pool because I know those days were coming to an end!! I went to choir practice that evening. I absolutely love FBC choir members and our new director, Bret Stanford, is definitely an answer to prayer!! I have known his wife Courtney since she was a little girl and now I keep their son Gavin in Sunday School. That family has become very precious to me.

Thursday dawned with the beginning of a new school year!! I always have nightmares the week prior to school beginning. I usually can't find my class, have no clothes on, or my class is full of future inmates!! This year was nightmare-free. That was a first for me!! This was the first day of Luke's last year of public education!! He and I are both feeling bittersweet about it. I know he'll be so ready to graduate by May, and I'm afraid I'm going to be anxious for him to graduate. Joey promises I don't have a curse on me that prevents my children from graduating, but it still scares me a bit. I have to remind myself to led God lead us through this year!! I'm very proud of Luke. He is actually turning into an awesome young man! We always worried about him, because he was about having a good time and worrying about consequences later!! He still loves a good time, but is much more mature about it. He's doing cadet teaching with me this year, which means he'll come to classroom every day. I love this time! I very rarely get time alone with my son. He loves to surround himself with the important people in his life. And I enjoy just sitting back and watching him. As his Gram says, Luke fills the room when he comes in! What a blessing!! This picture is him on his first day of junior year. (Slacker Mom hasn't downloaded the first day of senior year yet. I'll have to get on that!!)



Ahhh.....Friday!! Friday in the fall can only mean high school football!! Joey's all-time favorite part of the year. This year, Luke is starting as a tight end on the team. He played quarterback all through school until last year. He's built perfectly for a tight end. He's following in his dad's footsteps. Joey played the same position. Last night was the jamboree. The team scrimmaged three other schools. You can't really judge the season by last night because everybody gets subbed in and gets playing time. Luke did a good job. We were very proud. Luke has such a great group of friends on this team. The boys all get along and have no jealousy at all!! They honestly want each other to do well and they work perfectly together. Luke has played football since he was 7 years old!! It's going to be so strange to not watch him after this year. We just have to move on to a new stage in our life. We've gotten really good at doing that!! Who knows, we may have another son playing in about 14 years!! Holy smokes, we would be 57!!! Joey always stands up by the press box. I don't know that he'll be able to climb up there then!! I'm just kidding. We plan to roll with whatever God brings us!



So, that was my week. A very memorable one. I had so many good moments, but there were also a few sad and melancholy ones. But, our lives are full of emotions. I would hate to go through life as a robot. Even my tears are very healing. I always feel better after a good cry. God gave me those tears as a release. But I do look forward to my days in heaven where I won't feel sad anymore. I can't imagine how we will feel and the love we will have for each other. God certainly knows His stuff!!

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven; a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

"Accidental Births"?? I Don't Think So!!

God has blessed me with six nephews and two nieces. I am amazed at how different each one of these kids are. Our family was so excited with each and every birth. They span the ages of 26 to 6. (This includes both sides of the family.) While my nephews are amazing and crazy, I want to blog about my two blonde nieces.

First of all, the title of this blog doesn't mean that any of my family were accidents. I'm not even sure they were unplanned, but that's getting a bit personal with my siblings!! haha But the premise for this blog is that everyone in this world has a purpose. Many times, I don't think we even realize how we affect the lives of others. Since Mal's accident, I have really begun to notice pieces of God's beautiful plan. One of Mal's favorite expressions was "Everything happens for a reason." This includes the placement of people in our everyday lives.

Let me start with my oldest niece, Staci. She was born when I was 17. She was my baby!! I carted her around everywhere and claimed her as my own. I climbed into playpens with her, fixed her first ponytails, and loved her more than anything. She was my adorable flower girl and has been part of most all of the important events of my life. She even shares my wedding anniversary, love of shoes, and is also an English teacher. Joni and I have always said our girls were switched at birth. Mal shares many things with her Aunt Noni.

Staci and Mal have a very loving relationship. Stac was the big cousin. She carted Mal around with her!! When the girls were 1 and 6, they both dressed as Hershey's Kisses for Halloween. They were precious. As they became older, the realization of being raised only with brothers hit both girls. At this time, they decided to claim each other as sisters. When Staci would come home from college with the newest phrase of Staci-ish, Mal would instantly adopt that phrase and use it every chance she got. Mal was a candle-lighter in Staci's wedding and formed an instant bond with Staci's husband, Scott. I thank God over and over that Mal got to hold and see Eli for a couple months before she left us.





Carly came along a bit later. She is the third offspring from my brother, John and his wife, Meri. Mal was eleven when we found out Meri was having a girl. She had mixed emotions. Mal really enjoyed being Maw Maw's girl. She didn't think she wanted to share her grandma with another girl. She was excited, but was unsure that Maw Maw could love more than two granddaughters. She awaited the birth of another cousin anxiously. From the moment Carly entered this world, Mal never had those feelings again. Now it was Mal's turn to lavish love on a younger cousin. And believe me, she loved Carly to pieces!! She spent as many nights as she could with her. She and her friends took Carly places and loved treating her like one of the "big" girls. There was a bond between Mal and Carly that is unbreakable. My heart breaks every time I think of how Carly was affected by the loss of Mal.





Now, for the "accidental" birth issue. One thing I do remember from the night of Mal's accident was repeating over and over "not my girl!!" Our mother/daughter relationship was exceptional. And while I know I won't have that exact relationship again, I am once more amazed at how God has given me Staci and Carly to help fill that hole. Staci is filling the loss of my adult daughter. I love how she calls me when she has something exciting or funny happen in her life. I love how we can share teaching stories and stories of our husbands!! I love how she always greets me with a hug and kiss. And I love how her son, Eli, calls me Maw Maw!!

Carly brings back my memories of Mal when she was a little girl. Carly is eight now. She is so smart and talks to you like she's an adult. She and Mal had that in common. She's so affectionate and hugs and pats me all the time. But, this summer, I noticed a huge similarity between Mal and Carly that I hadn't seen before. My brother and I live right next to each other. Even living that close, we don't see each other very often. But for some reason, this summer Carly decided she needed to come and swim with me. (My earlier blog revealed my obsession with my pool!!) Carly has a pool in her backyard, also. I think the attraction to my pool was that our deck is attached and she loves jumping into the water. Their deck isn't finished yet. So when she saw me in my pool, she decided to join me. Just like her older cousin, Carly is a fish in the water. It was like having Mal with me again as a little girl. Their body shapes are so much alike. And Carly was standing on her hands and swimming around my raft and sticking to me like glue!! It was like having my eight-year-old Mal with me in the pool again.

So, as I think about these two blonde girls, I know that God gave them specifically to me!! He knew that he was going to have to take my girl home before I got there. And he knew that I would need TONS of help to continue on with my life here. So, he gave me these nieces. I really don't think either of them has a clue that they are helping their aunt move forward in her life. One of the blessings I have received from my Mal leaving me, is being able to slow my life down and marvel at how God has designed EVERYTHING!! Nothing in this life is accidental if you can follow God's plan and not your own.


Jeremiah 29:11 NIV
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.