Transformation

Today began the transformation of my son's old bedroom. I've completely emptied it, stripped border, spackled MILLIONS of push-pin holes, and applied one coat of "Mountainside" gray paint. I had the priceless help of my sister and mom. But as I was painting, my mind started to comtemplate the reason for the transformation of this room. Eighteen months ago, our beautiful daughter was killed in a car wreck. (I'll talk about this in a later blog.) It's been a long, hard journey of grieving and, thank God, healing. After months of prayer, God has shown my family that we need to take part in the foster parent program which will hopefully lead to adoption. And no, this is definitely not to replace our girl. That could never be done!! She was one of a kind; one of God's original designs. The transformation of the bedroom is happening because we will be having our home visit sometime later this month. I began to wonder if I would be transforming this room if Mallory was still alive. But I can't think about "would I be doing this or that". Really, what good does that do? This was God's plan for us and now it's up to us to carry it out. So, I stopped wondering about those "unanswerable" questions and instead focused on what God has in store for my family's future. I'll post pictures later as the room is completed. And I'm hoping that's it's not just the room that is being transformed, but also my focus in life will be transformed. I have an amazing husband and son who are still in this world with me. And hopefully, we will be given the gift of adding another family member. So, as I'm transforming rooms, I'll be working on the transformation of my heart as well.